Saturday, September 29, 2012

Raising A Child - Does It Take A Village or A Family?

 For many years our government has been stepping into families' lives and making decisions regarding what are called issues in the children's best interests.  After these many years of the "It Takes A Village" attitude of  government and community officials, what does the results of their involvement with the youth of this nation show us?   Raising a child, - does it take a village or a family?   Has the village approach helped our society raise a responsible, law-abiding, socially-conscious, educated generation?  Or has it brought forth a generation of self-absorbed, rebellious, unemployable, social outcasts who become involved in gang activities, school shootings and/or drugs and whom all have the attitude that the world owes them?!

Some have dared to fight the government and the legal system to try to maintain family relationships, to provide good homes for family members, to foster an appreciation and sense of belonging in a child, to boost the self-esteem not shred it into bits and pieces, only to have a judge say "No, you are not allowed to be involved, the child must endure what we say is best and not what the parent or grandparent believes is in their best interest."  The village takes over.

First there are the court hearings, the court orders, the changes in life style that a judge deems necessary, the constant investigating/reporting/visiting of Child Protection Services,  social worker visits,  parenting classes teaching one how the government believes they should parent and then comes the counseling for the child.  The schools pitch in with special education teachers, counselors and therapists for the emotionally handicapped child who has problems adjusting to all the new people in their life interfering with the normal parent/child relationship or family relationships they were used to and which are necessary for developing a sense of belonging, family-pride and self-esteem.

Granted, there are some people who have no business trying to raise a child!  It is those people who have made it increasingly difficult for other families to raise their children without government interference and/or constant monitoring.  Somewhere there needs to be a middle ground where the judicial system acts upon what is actually in a child's best interest rather than taking the attitude that it is always in the child's best interests for them to be under a court's authority - raised by courts, case workers, counselors, therapists and other village professionals.

A friend of mine is going through a situation right now which is a great demonstration of what I am trying to say.  My friend's daughter had a great government job with good insurance, a nice house, was living in Mississippi close to her parents who helped her with her two small children and was doing good being a responsible, loving parent.  Her ex, who lived in NY, went to court there even though it was not the state where his children lived, and managed to get it declared the state of residency for the little girl but not for his little boy (that didn't make sense to start with).  He then got a court order for his ex to have to bring the little girl to NY for him to visit.  Once there, an order was issued that the little girl had to stay in NY and could not return to her home in Mississippi.  The State of New York took over this little girl's life totally.  She now suddenly no longer has her home, her family, her friends or her sense of belonging and self-worth.  She is being placed into verbally psychologically and emotionally abusive situations and needs help out of this situation of having a village (the State of New York) raise her rather than her family in Mississippi!  The little girl's mother has had to quit her job, lose her insurance, give up her house and move to NY.  She now has 2 part-time minimum wage jobs with no insurance and an over-priced little apartment to live in and no family to help them as her family members live in Mississippi!

There is a petition on Causes.com which I urge all readers to sign!  It is time that we started telling government officials and judicial officials that we need to be able to raise our families and care for them and take care of them without their interference!  If a child is being hurt, abused, etc., then by all means the legal system should remedy that situation.  Not place them in a situation like that just because they have the power to do so!!!  Please sign this petition, hopefully it will help this particular case.  Each and every case is different and has to be handled one case at a time. 

Bring Trish and Baby Home Petition

Have a great day, hope that these issues never touch your homes and families because if they do, the tremendous heartache and worry that comes with them are excruciating, just as the emotional and mental damages that are done to the children who have to endure these things.  Help us protect our children from all dangers, including our own government and laws when need be!


Just Me Granny D

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